Soothe Your Inner Child

When I was a kid my mom used to tell me ... "Don't eat that it will make you FAT." So when everyone left the table I shoved as much of "that" as I could down my throat. I was being defiant. I was about 12 years old at the time. So, that 12 year-old is still inside of me and still defiant. I think that "inner child" thinks she will die if I stop eating the foods that are making me unhealthy.

In Eckhart Tolle's book, The Power Of Now, he writes that our constantly chatty mind - which blares things from our past and fears about the future - is scared of our being "In The MOMENT" because, to "be in the moment" means death to the mind chatter.

Similarly our inner child is scared too and she/he only feels safe when she's making us eat defiantly. So how to we help our inner child know that she won't die? It is our job to soothe that inner child and let she/he'll know that they won't die if we resist eating defiantly. Let that inner child know that the food cravings and unhealthy face stuffing is unhealthy for us and that it is time for him/her to relax and be loved by us. They can be free and once they experience that love and peace and freedom they will feel calm and wonderful. Keep soothing them because they really do feel like they will die if you resist that addiction to food.

Alicia Keys on Perfection

I have definitely been over accommodating. It gets to the point where I'm not taking a second to ask, How am I feeling today? We have to listen to our feelings. But a lot of times you ignore them. You're busy, you're in school, you're working, trying to get into college, to make you mom happy, to be the best student you can be, to make your friends like you, to fit in. You don't want to disappoint anyone. But at some point you have to say, Enough! I can't be perfect.

A lot of times you don't really say what you mean because you're like, I don't want to hurt their feelings. I don't want to make them feel bad. But sometimes you have to just say, "I'm sorry if this hurts you. I'm not trying to hurt you, but this is what I feel." I've also worked on becoming more independent-becoming more selfish. Not selfish in a bad way; selfish in the "you need some you time" way.

I think at one time I was so bent on being just one way that I didn't allow myself to explore the many ways I can be or express myself. I've learned to embrace the many sides of myself. And there are so many sides to who I am. I have the more delicate side. I have the rougher, tougher tomboy side. I have the bohemian, '70s retro side. I have the more glamorous side. I have the more feminine side. There are so many sides to who you are. So now I'm just so much more open to trying new things. And it feels good. Seventeen Magazine July '08

Perfection - is it possible?

We are all on this planet to be the best human beings we can be.

It's all about learning and understanding that perfection puts us in a really tight box that no one can get into.

We can't get into it because there is no such thing as perfection and, for those who think they are perfect - no one can get into their lives because that box is so tight. The box is so tight because it is constructed of fear.

Break out of any box you, or others have put you in, and be the healthiest you YOU can be.

How's your body image? Take the quiz.

In her amazing book, DEALING WITH THE STUFF THAT MAKES LIFE TOUGH, our friend, Jill Zimmerman Rutledge, M.S.W., LCSW wrote some cool stuff about body image. For over 20 years Jill has been counseling adolescent girls and young women who have eating disorders and she knows what she's talking about.

Here is an excerpt from her book:

Some people define body image as how we think and feel about our bodies, but that's only part of it. Body image is also created by what we think and feel about ourselves, how we behave, who we choose for friends, and the culture we live in. If you feel bad about yourself, you probably feel bad about your body too. Or if all your friends are dieting, you may begin to think you need to lose weight too. You may dislike your body for lots of other reasons. For one thing, magazines and other media can have a negative impact on your body image. When we look at pictures of very thin models, many of us want to lose weight immediately so we can look like them. Feeling bad about our bodies interferes with our lives. Your poor body image may make you feel awkward and self-conscious with guys. As 16-year-old Tina put it, "No guy wants a fat girl and I'm fat. I know if I start liking a guy, I'll just get rejected so why bother?" You may feel so uncomfortable about your body that you go to the beach in long shorts and a baggy T-shirt, instead of a bathing suit. When you feel dissatisfied with your body, it's important to look at your life as a whole. What else could you be unhappy about. Do you have low self-esteem? Do you exercise moderately but regularly? (Moderate-not obsessive-exercise helps you develop positive feelings about6 your body.) Are you having problems with family or friends? Are you eating healthily or loading up on junk food? Poor body image feels like it has everything to do with your body but in fact, it also has to do with how you're coping with life.

It is important to be realistic about your body compared to your body image. Here is a quiz Jill posted in her book. Let us know how you did on it and remember to love yourself and get healthy.

Do you have poor body image? Take this short quiz to see:

1. How do you feel about how you look?
a. Very good
b. OK
c. Mixed feelings
d. Bad, ashamed

2. Are you happy with your current weight?
a. Very happy
b. Happy enough
c. Somewhat unhappy
d. Very unhappy

3. Have you ever felt too fat after reading an article that reveals the body weight of a model or actress?
a. Yes
b. No

4. If you gained five pounds, you'd
a. Be OK with that-five pounds isn't a big deal
b. Feel neutral-not good or bad
c. Feel somewhat unahppy
d. Feel very upset

5. When someone says you look nice, you think:
a. I'm looking good.
b. They don't have anything else to say.
c. They're trying to make me feel good.
d. They're lying-they really think I'm gross.

Scoring: For questions 1, 2, 4 and 5, give yourself 1 point or a, 2 points for b, 3 points for c, and 4 points for d. For question 3, give yourself 1 point for a and 2 points for b. If you have a total score of 5-9, you're on the road to a good body image. Keep it up! If you scored 10-15, you may have some body image issues to work out. If you scored more than 16, you may have a poor body image.




If you're spending time worrying about how you look instead of having fun, you'll want to read PICTURE PERFECT another cool book written by Jill S. Zimmerman Rutledge. It will definitely help you feel better about your body. You can purchase PICTURE PERFECT at HeyUGLY.org. Just click on our products page. While your on the site check out all our other cool stuff to help self-esteem.

Advice to hold on to your self-esteem while dieting

Remind yourself every single day that your outward appearance is irrelevant to who you are inside. Think about what you would say to a close friend if she were overweight and feeling badly about herself. Giving yourself credit for what you accomplish each day-even running errands-can boost your mood, make you feel better about yourself and help keep your difficulty with weight in perspective. Judith Beck, author of The Beck Diet Solution Parade-May 11,'08

For more cool info go to HeyUGLY.org

An easy way to eat consciously

I have been going through these past few years thinking I was just overweight. Then my doctor told me I was obese. Obese!!!! What a word. It made me take a deeper look at myself and how I was treating me. If you are like me you are making all kinds of excuses as to why you are not treating yourself in a healthy way. For me the time for excuses are over. The doctor told me I was very close to being MORBIDLY OBESE. I don't want to die. I have too much to do yet.

So I am on a quest to not allow food to have so much power over me. The other day I observed myself eating some delicious organic popcorn. I realized I was chomping down on it like a crazy person instead of savoring each bite. Experts say it is best for our health and digestion to eat consciously by chewing each bite at least 25 times. When I actually eat consciously and chew each bite to the count of 25 or more, the meal lasts soooooooo much longer and I eat much less. Why would I not incorporate this conscious eating into my life permanently? I guess old habits die hard as they say sooooooo - dear friends, let's all be more conscious when we eat. Let's lessen the burden we are putting on our toes, arches, heels, ankles, calves, knees, thighs, hips, lower back, heart, kidneys, lungs, stomach, digestive tract, etc.

Here's what I did. I pictured the seven dwarfs in my stomach shoveling the food into my digestive tract. When I was eating consciously by chewing my food into tiny pieces by chewing each bite 25 times, the dwarfs were working at a pretty even pace and they were singing. They were happy to be doing their job in an even paced manner. But when I eat too much and just shovel it down, those little guys are working so hard that they are close to crying. I picture them complaining about me overworking them. Let's not be bad bosses to our digestive tracts. Let's allow them to be like the seven dwarfs who like to "whistle while they work."

Jesse gives advice on fitting in

I was watching WE-TV's High School Confidential and fell in love with something Jesse said when she delivered the commencement speech at her high school graduation. Here is what she said:

Don't try to fit in. We were all born to stand out. Be yourself and if others don't accept you for it they're the ones that are missing out.

Honor your feelings with love not food

It's all about quality of life and loving ourselves.

I saw a show recently where they said something that resonated so clearly to me. If we allow food to control us - and we can tell that we are letting food control us if we are obese (30 lbs over prime bmi) - there are some emotions we are covering up by stuffing our face with unhealthy choices. It made me think that whenever we get the urge to eat those chips or sweets we should stop and ask ourselves what feelings we are trying to avoid. Stick with it because sometimes it takes awhile for us to be able to get in touch with those feelings. Once we recognize the feeling/s we should then try and just feel them. In fact hold them in our arms as if they were a baby and just rock those feelings. We don't have to judge the feelings, analyze the feelings, we need to just acknowledge them and honor them.

We DESERVE to give our feet, ankles, calves, knees, thighs, hips, lower back, heart, kidneys, etc. all the love and support that we give our family and friends. Our bodies have been there for us and we need to show our gratitude and love by caring for it as the fine gem that it is.

Jess Weiner's cool advice in Seventeen Mag - Check it out!

I don't know about you, but I love Seventeen Magazine. They have some of the coolest stories and their May 2008 issue is no exception. In the issue Jess Weiner - an author, self-esteem expert, and the Global Ambassador for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund - gives advice on how moms and their daughters can both give their bodies a break. Here is what she said:

For as long as I can remember, my mom was on a diet. I didn't need to lose weight, but at age 11, I joined in her calorie-counting crusade. We shared the same taste in music, love of shopping, and, eventually, negative body image. My mom thought she was helping me feel good about how I looked, but instead I thought that I could never look good enough. I learned to loathe my body at a young age, and as a result, I later struggled with anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating.

Because we value their opinions so much, our mothers have a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves. Even a compliment ("Wow, you look so thin!") can make us think we're more lovable when we look a certain way.

For years, I blamed my mom for passing her body issues down to me. Then as I recovered, I realized that our mothers also face pressure to fit in and look pretty. They don't realize that by degrading themselves ('My butt looks huge!") or commenting on our bodies, they're hurting us. So instead of blaming them, let's invite them to accept their bodies too!

You can start by telling your Mom that you both need support --not criticism. (The next time she makes a negative remark, let her know that you're trying to feel good about yourself--and her comments don't help.) Then become allies in changing how you view your bodies by finding healthier ways to bond. (See "This Month's Goal" below). As you find more ways to relate to each other outside of calorie counting and body bashing, the better off you'll both be.

"THIS MONTH'S GOAL":
I VOW TO: Quit bonding with my mom over body issues. Show support for each other by cutting out negative thoughts and words.

HOW TO DO IT: Invite Mom to make peace by signing her own vows at seventeen.com/momvows! Then find positive ways to bond: Try taking a jewelry-making class, starting a book club, or planning a mother-daughter-themed movie night (see Freaky Friday-classic!).

Chloe Lattanzi gives advice to those w/eating disorders

In the April 21, 2008 issue of People Magazine, recording artist and daughter of Olivia Newton-John, Chloe Lattanzi talks about her struggle with food and how she overcame it. Following is an excerpt of her advice:

Why do you think a person develops an eating disorder? Why does someone choose drugs? It's to find something that helps you escape. [Restricting food] helped me escape. It had nothing to do with food; there were deeper issues in my family I had buried. Don't take eating disorders at face value; there's true dysfunction going on.

So what should parents look out for? Just because you're skinny does not mean you have an eating disorder. The warning signs to look for are the arms--if someone is sick, her arms don't have that nice little coating of of feminine flesh. It's more behavioral things, though--they're really obsessive about things like food, and usually people with a problem will always prepare meals themselves. I think people who are perfectionists can develop issues like that.

What's the best way to help someone who has an eating disorder? It doesn't help to say, "We're scared for you. You're going to die." That just makes the eating disorder thrive, because fear is at the core of it. The more scared my parents got, the worse I got. It's key to let the person know that they're beautiful as they are. It helps to say, "You're strong. We believe in you."

What helped you through recovery? I was reading THE POWER OF NOW [by Eckhart Tolle]. I read I AM THAT [by Nisargadatta Maharaj'. I did a lot of journaling and took a lot of time to go deep within myself. I was medicating during that time too.

Are you afraid of relapses? No. My relationship with food is good now. But I don't like to eat in front of people. Every time I sit in front of someone with food I get anxiety. I feel like they're judging me. So i eat by myself--which I'd like to fix one day.

What's your diet like now? I'm very picky. I eat all organic vegetables, whole-grain bread--stuff that's amazing for you well-being. I value my body so much now, and I want to live a really long time.

Coolio is cookin'

Just heard that Coolio has a cooking show where he says he's ... "Taken a lot of traditional black recipes and made them healthy-taking the cholesterol out, taking the butter out. I also do fusion: Mex-Italian, Blasion [black Asian]."

Check out the latest teen hangout. How cool is this!!

Latest teen hangout:
the nearest gym
High school students find perfect combination of fitness and flirtation

GYM HANGOUTS

Kamil Broda, 17, (behind gate) chats with Kellie Cristofaro,18, and Kelsey Bratanch, 17, (front) at Pavillion Fitness in Elk Grove Village. (Tribune photo by Terry Harris / March 20, 2008)

By Megan Twohey Chicago Tribune reporter

Gaggles of teenage girls rounded the indoor track engrossed in conversation while boys in baggy shorts swarmed on a basketball court below. In a nearby weight room, other young males cracked jokes while strutting among the machines.

As he took a break from a triceps machine, JP O'Connor, a 17-year-old in a sleeveless T-shirt, said that for many teens local health clubs like Pavilion Fitness in Elk Grove Village have become social gathering spots.

"The gym is like the mall," he said. "It's where everyone likes to hang out."

It used to be that the only teens seen at a gym were students on athletic teams, intent on additional training.

But in recent years, some Chicago-area gyms have become preferred hangouts for a growing number of high school students who want to be fit and healthy. Many also have discovered that gyms provide something equally important: a place to gossip, flirt and socialize with peers.

The teenage presence is being felt at places like Pavilion Fitness, Lifetime Fitness in Skokie and Five Seasons in Burr Ridge.

"Sometimes we have to break them up," said Joe Algana, a manager at Pavilion Fitness, where the number of high school-age members has jumped to 360 from 210 in the past two years, most of them from Elk Grove and Conant High Schools. "They're using it more like a social gathering than a gym."

Even with its schmoozing aspects, health experts see it as a positive trend for the MySpace generation, which has been plagued by childhood obesity. Between 1987 and 2006, the number of people under 18 who belonged to health clubs grew to 4.1 million from 1.4 million, according to the International Health Racquet and Sportsclub Association, which has nearly 9,000 members nationwide. Many Chicago-area gyms report similar spikes, especially within the past couple of years.

"Even if it takes a health club being a social entity to get them there, it's great news," said Joel Press, associate professor at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine and a medical director at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago. "A lot of the health-care costs are because of problems associated with obesity. If you can get kids exercising as part of their lifestyle, it will be beneficial to society as a whole."

In the 1980s, most people who belonged to a gym were bodybuilders, said Rosemary Lavery, spokeswoman for the International Health Racquet and Sportsclub Association. It was rare to see an average person, let alone an average teen, using a weight machine, she said.

That began to change in the 1990s. In an effort to increase membership, gyms began marketing themselves as wellness centers that could serve everyone, not just the pumping-iron set. Studies showing the health benefits of exercise and the risks of obesity helped draw in a variety of people.

Meanwhile, as childhood obesity grew, health and fitness became a hot topic in schools.

"We hear a lot about obesity in health class," said Katie Lullo, 16, who works out at Pavilion Fitness three or four days a week. "I don't want to be like that."

Many teens want to look fit and strong even if they do not participate in sports, said O'Connor, a student at Elk Grove High School.

"I want to be able to take my shirt off at the beach and feel good," he said as he resumed working his triceps.

There's a ripple effect. When teens sign up, their friends follow. Before long, the gym is known as a place to mingle and be seen. At school, students discuss what time they are going.

"It's like it's the cool, social thing to do," said Dawn Hanson, fitness director of Five Seasons in Burr Ridge, where the number of teen members has doubled since 2001. "They come in with friends and hang out in groups."

Ryan Ring, 16, a Loyola Academy student who was lifting weights with a friend at Lifetime Fitness in Skokie, said he enjoys encountering classmates and other students from Glenbrook South, Evanston Township and New Trier high schools while at the gym.

Sydney Levin, a New Trier freshman who works out at Lifetime, said she sees it as "multi-tasking."

"I want to lead a healthy lifestyle and look good," she said. "And there are also really hot guys here who are fun to flirt with."

The boys tend to congregate in the free-weight areas and basketball courts, while the girls stick to treadmills and other cardiovascular machines, but there are plenty of opportunities to cross paths, Levin said. It's not unusual for her to make eye contact with boys as they pass by a machine.

"They'll smile and say, 'What's up?' " she said. "And I'll be like, 'Hey, what's up?' "

Cool Exercise Tips by Kimberly Flynn

1. ALWAYS DOING THE SAME WORKOUT.

“People often fall into the trap of hitting the treadmill for 30 minutes every time they work out,” says Rachel Cosgrove, owner of Results Fitness in Santa Clarita, Calif. “It works at first, but then your body starts to adjust to the routine, and you burn fewer calories.” To keep seeing results, change one workout factor like intensity or duration every trip to the gym, then completely switch your activity every three to four weeks.

2. DISTRACTIONS.

If you can watch TV during your workout, you’re not working hard enough. Instead of relaxing while you run, try interval training. After a five- to six-minute warm-up on a cardio machine, work as hard as you can for one minute, then reduce the intensity for two minutes. Alternate back and forth for five rounds, making sure to increase the number of intervals you do each workout.

3. HOLDING ON TO THE HANDLEBARS.

When your arms take your body weight off your legs, you burn fewer calories. “If you have to hold on or lean, go slower,” says Cosgrove. (Supporting yourself without assistance gives you a better core workout as well.)

4. NOT USING THE INCLINE.

Setting the treadmill on an incline increases the activity of your glutes and hamstrings so you make them even stronger and burn more calories. Depending on your fitness level, set the incline at between 6% and 10%.

5. OVERFUELING.

You don’t need to sip sports drinks all afternoon, then eat an energy bar at the gym, and then follow that up with a post-workout shake. Instead, limit yourself to about 300 calories—the same number you burn in an average 30-minute workout. Any more and you’re not going to get thinner.

If you have any exercise tips send them to us at HeyUGLY411@aol.com. If we post them you'll get a free T-shirt.

Breakfast helps teens loose weight

MINNEAPOLIS, March 5 (UPI) -- Moms always advise eating breakfast, but a U.S. study proves skipping breakfast is unhealthy and is linked to teen obesity.

University of Minnesota School of Public Health researchers examined the association between breakfast frequency and five-year body weight change in more than 2,200 adolescents.

The study, published in Pediatrics, finds teens who eat breakfast daily have a healthier diet overall and are more physically active than teens who skip breakfast. Five years later, compared to breakfast skippers, the breakfast eaters gained less weight.
"Although adolescents may think that skipping breakfast seems like a good way to save on calories, findings suggest the opposite," principal investigator Dianne Neumark-Sztainer says in a statement. "Eating a healthy breakfast may help adolescents avoid overeating later in the day and disrupt unhealthy eating patterns, such as not eating early in the day and eating a lot late in the evening."

It is estimated that between 12 percent and 24 percent of U.S. children and adolescents regularly skip breakfast, and this percentage increases with age, Neumark-Sztainer says.

Queen Latifah takes first step to getting healthy

Living a healthier lifestyle is important to me – and it’s simpler than you think. Just losing 5-10 percent of your weight and getting a little more active is a great first step that can really reduce your risk of diabetes and other health problems. It’s pretty amazing that a small change can make such a big difference.

Question for us all to answer

I read this quote in Glamour Magazine by Christian Wright. It made so much sense to me and I hope it inspires you. Take a read:

"Few of us measure our intelligence against the bar set by Albert Einstein, or our tennis ability by Venus Williams' trophy case. We're inspired, not discouraged, by their achievements: We still go to college, and we still pick up our rackets and play. So why do we get so down on ourselves when we don't stack up physically to the genetic anomality that is Gisele Bundchen?" Christian Wright

PS-The picture to the right is of some students who attended our eM-POWERment Day Presentation where we talk about the importance of recognizing when you are judging yourself and others negatively.